When I completed my exam on 26th of November I started to worry about What would happen to me in my 12th grade and how my future would be like, but these was not the surprising part in me rather I was worrying about my life for the first time and that was little different for me at that time.
After my exam I went to New Delhi with mom for some personal matters and there too I met some of my cousin with whom I shared my worries and I was happy to hear that even they were concerned about my future and was encouraging me to work hard.
As soon as I reached SILIGURI I was happy, as I was approaching near home. Not only that I was happy that I will receive my result of my 11th grade too. 14th of December I reached home and from 15th we were asked to report to the school to get prepared for the national day ceremony that was going be held on 17th of December. After that on 18th we were going to recieve our result. But before that we received our exam paper and when I received mine I was shocked to see my marks.
The only subject in which I have scored high mark was in Dzongkha and English. But in other subject it was like I have done my exam without studying 11th grade. For me it was same like that and the main reason behind for that was because I did not give much attention to my teachers teaching. I was completely focused on learning computer which was not my subject. Computer was my interest and for that reason I gave more importance to computer rather than my regular subject.
All of my subject teachers and other teachers who knew me from my 8th grade adviced me almost all the time to study hard and they also reminded me that 11 is not heaven which we students use to think that after completing 10th grade 11 is heaven and 12 is hell. Thanks to all the teachers who have adviced me when I was wrong. I had good friend and bad one also in school and apart from that I myself was getting naughty in thing that I was doing.
18th of December the result day, I was eager to know what my result might be even after looking at my answer sheet. At home I told my parents that my lowest mark was in math subject with 42 out of 100 but that too was a lie. The moment my class teacher called out my name my heart started to beat faster and faster. And my result was...........
As soon as I received my result I was shocked because I had little hope of being upgraded to 12 grade after looking at my answer sheet though. Right after I heard that I have failed from my class teacher I thought I was not meant for the education from one side of my head but from other the question was if I was not really meant for that then for what reason I might have been a good students from my first grade till then. After a minute I thought why don't I be like Steve jobs and Bill Gates who have not graduated from school or collage and leave school. That was not right because I was looking at the failure of great people and trying to copy that.
When I failed only those people who were good friend of mine was there with me but those who are bad were very busy thinking about insulting me and apart form that they were even insulting me too. I told my friends that I am going to leave school and start a business but they were saying that, that would be the greates failure for you if you do that, so thinking what they are saying might be true I believed in them and also I called my brother whom I trusted and told him that I failed but he was laughing not by hearing what happened to me, when I asked why are you laughing he said don't make a joke and tell me the truth and my answer was that only that I failed. After telling him that I failed for 20 times then only he believed me. He too adviced me not to do some stupid thing afterwards like last year when I ran away from my home.
Apart from all those things I was not so sure how to show my face to my parents. I even thought of running away but why to hurt parents so I left it....
to be continued.....